I wanna make a ray of sunshine, and never leave home...

I don't know what I'd do without my friends. Over the past few months, I have really let myself open up and form little pockets of friends. I have my college friends, who coincidentally mix in with my high school friends super easily. I have my gay college friends. I have my straight college friends who I only started hanging out with after college and moving to NYC. And then I have one of my favorite groups. My NYC lesbians.

Don't get me wrong, I adore everyone and my closest friends are not actually my NYClezzies. But those women, Ginger, Popstar, SuperGay and a mix of others who float in and out, have a way of making me feel like everything will be ok. They support me, fuel me with funny stories and lessons about life. I live vicariously through them, especially Ginger.

Let me tell you, reader, Ginger's life amuses, teaches and gives me hope. It's funny to think that we both started out not wanting to be friends, but wanting to see where the connection would take us romantically. Now we spend evenings drinking wine and talking about the various women, or lack thereof in our lives. How is it, that in the lesbian world, some of our best friends can be the women we have slept with?

It's a simple question really. Lesbians stay in touch with their exes all the time. There is no separation unless absolutely necessary. It makes it difficult for us to get over the ex, but it also is comforting to know that the close bond you formed with someone isn't completely lost when the relationship is over. I just don't understand why straight people, and gay men for that matter, cannot stay friends.

Are the current significant others threatened by it? Do they not have the understanding lesbians have? When it comes down to it, who has it right? The lesbians? Or the straighties?

I'm really reaching for an answer to this one...so if you have ideas, please share.

Until the drama continues...

Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, have to get away...

After a while, a girl starts to get run down. In New York, it happens a lot faster than anywhere else. Between work and my personal life, I have very little time to just be on my own and really relax. Even my weekend days are filled with chores, phone calls, and arguing with loans people about my college loans.

This has lead me to believe I need a vacation. It also lead me to realize I don't have time for a vacation. That fact alone, lead me to write this list:

Top Ten Reasons a Lesbian Takes a Break:

10) You cat starts to ignore your clinginess.
9) The taste for beer and other alcoholic drinks is gone and replaced with...gasp...a thirst for water.
8) You start checking out your boss, and every client that walks into your office...even the men.
7) You go commando. Not because it's sexy, but because you actually have no more clean underwear.
6) You haven't heard about a) Prop8 being declared unconstitutional and b)The Real L Word.
5) You're still crying over your ex. And the ex before her, and the ex before her...
4) Your nails have crossed the line of "need a trim" to "eagle's talons."
3) You start to recognize everyone at the various bars you frequent. And can recite their orders.
2) You start to fall asleep at the bar.
1) You talk excitedly with a friend about an upcoming date and she gives you a funny look and says "Oh, we went out last month. you'll like her..."

Do YOU need a vacation?

Damn, I wish I was your lover...

Because I think music is the most influential art in the world (and no, I'm not biased) I was thrilled to see a list of 20 Great Lesbian Love Songs at Curvemag.com - Read, create a playlist, listen and sink into the gloriousness of woman love:

http://www.curvemag.com/Curve-Magazine/Web-Articles-2010/20-Great-Lesbian-Love-songs/

I melt...

Your love is my drug...

Have you ever had an absolutely electric kiss? Something that just sparks and shocks the deepness within you? A kiss that you know will never be replicated with anyone else except that one person?

I know everyone has to have at least one kiss like that and some people may have had many. It was like that for me with Curly. Our very first kiss was, like kissing me. It was exactly how I wanted to be kissed and exactly what a perfect kiss in my mind felt like. That one little kiss had more electricity, more zest and feriocity in it than with any other person I had or have kissed. Every kiss was like that with Curly. Even the pecks on the cheek, or the quick kiss goodbye in the morning. She was like a drug. A very potent drug that could cure anything.

I'm longing for a kiss like that. One that knocks me off my feet. Something I can feel in every part of my body. I've been technically single for almost 7 months, and stopped having those kisses for about 5 and half months (as lesbians do.)You would think that with all the women I have dated, kissed, slept with, I would find at least one kiss with half that passion.

Not to toot my own horn, but I've been told by a lot of people I'm a good kisser. My closest friends, with whom I've spent some time making out with have both informed me that I am the best kisser they've come across. I don't know if I should be horribly flattered or just sad for them that a kiss with no emotional attachment for me could be from the best kisser they've encountered.

I guess my question is: Where is the raw spark and physicality of emotion in kisses? Is it really that hard to find? Are there a serious lack of perfect kisses in the world?

Let me end my post with a quote (which I feel accurately describes the kiss I am talking about) from one of my favorite books of all time, The Princess Bride:

"There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C., when Saul and Delilah Korn's inadvertant discovery swept across Western civilization. (Before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy, because although everyone agrees with the formula of affection times purity times intensity times duration, no one has ever been completely satisfied with how much weight each element should recieve. But on any system, there are five that everyone agrees deserve full marks.

Well, this one left them all behind."

Until the drama continues...

If you could only, say what you need to say...

So Ginger is having problems. She is head over heels for this girl who won't show her emotions in any way shape or form. The problem? Ginger is the same way. For the first time, she's opened up and taken on the role of the "expresser." It's confusing and strange to her and she hates being exposed.

First questions: Do we just adapt to situations? If there are two non-expressers in a relationship, will one fold eventually and just blurt everything out?

I myself am not an expresser when in a relationship or after going on a date with someone. I will readily express my interest in a person, either telling them flat out "I like you" or by flirting incessantly. However, once I've opened up that much, I rarely continue.

It's caused issues in my past. Curly would often ask what I was thinking about and I rarely told her. This would either be because it was too heavy for the moment or because it was something completely ridiculous and people usually ask "I'd love to know how your mind comes up with this shit" and it embarrasses me. My first girlfriend, a fellow Aries, we'll call her Aries, would constantly ask what I was thinking, or to tell her something romantic. It slowly started to annoy me so much that one evening, after a long steamy sex session she turned to me and asked "Tell me something romantic?" As I was tired, wanting to sleep, and just annoyed by the question, I slowly turned to her and whispered in her ear "Cheeseburger." Aries literally kicked me out of bed and refused to let me back in. I gently reminded her it was my room.

Second questions: I guess what I'm saying is, to what extent are the mind's thoughts to be spoken about? Is it really necessary to consistently ask what is going on in your partner's mind? Or can we all just chill and realize, if we want to say something, we will?

Until the drama continues...

Happy Pride!

Happy Pride to those who accept that sometimes being happy is better than being completely accepted by the average joe. Keep on keepin' on...

You give me the electric twist and it kicks like a pony...

This weekend is NYC Pride. Pretty exciting-eh? In light of the many many drunken women I will meet, the many many drunken exes I will surely encounter (Curly included) and the many many drunken friends I will take care of, I have decided to make a short list of the most important survival skills for Pride:

1) In case you spot your ex, make sure you are surrounded by your most beautiful friends. If your ex was your most beautiful friend, surround yourself with ugly people so you can look the hottest possible.
2) When a friend decides to make out with you and you don't want to, quickly shout "Tequila shots!" Tequila and lesbians go hand in hand.
3) When a friend decides to make with you and want to, don't even think about this post, just do it.
4) While at the Pride parade, do not, even though it seems cute and funny to joke about, take free condoms from people passing them out. It's awkward and confusing for those of us lesbians that don't know what condoms are.
5) And most importantly, do not try and crash a gay male party. Stick to the lesbians- because isn't the entire point of pride to "bond" with other women...a.k.a. get as many phone numbers and meet as many hot strangers as possible?

Until the drama continues...